Saturday, August 6, 2011

How Can I Show Him I'm Interested Without Scaring Him Off?

I've gone on several dates with the guy I've been seeing. We hit it off very well. I am anxious now because I am very interested in him. What is the best way to tell or show a guy how much I am into him without him freaking out and thinking that I want to marry him tomorrow? Any suggestions? --Marilyn

Hi Marilyn,

Thank you for your patience on this response! I know I am 8 months overdue to your answer.

Let's cut to the chase. In all seriousness, dating is a chase. Guys want dating to be like a maze. They play mouse, we play cheese. You need to make the dating game more exciting for them. Let them smell the cheese. Do they want the cheese? Oh yeah. Do they know exactly how they are going to get the cheese? Absolutely not.

The #1 rule of the game is to keep you in the game.
Do not place the cheese right in front of them. Let them look, think, feel, and figure it out all. It will just make you just as interesting for him. Fact is, when they're courting, approaching, stalking, or just trying to get to know you, they got more butterflies than the butterflies laboratory (Haha, I know that's corny). They like the fact there are few things that make them nervous when winning you. Trust me, that makes the cheese a whole lot tastier in the end.

Please don't confuse my advice as saying to play games, deceive them, lure them in, then close the door on them.

So how to show him you're interested without scaring him off? Just be sexy...not whorish. Men are all for women being aggressive. But they just have to know where to stop. Touch him, brush against him, and do stuff like that early on is much more long-term material than the woman who will give it up in bed and jamming her tongue down a guy's throat after an hour in the date (hmm* cough* skank*). The key is to be interesting and irresistible, not desperate.

Here is a nice trick to see if you guy is into you for the long term. Suggest that you are planning a vacation 2 months from now and want to know if your guy is want to join you. If he jumps at it, he wants you for the long-term. Don't jump the gun if he hesitate to answer you. Watch him carefully and dissect his reason why he is not interested.

This trick is the perfect way to imply you wanted some kind of future in the relationship without ever having to say the very annoying, "Are we boyfriend and girlfriend?"

Much love and happiness,

Thursday, January 13, 2011

What Does He Really Think About Your Body?

Come on, this happened all the time.

You were getting dressed and made some comment about how disgusted that your pant didn't fit the way it used to be. Then you went into this long rant how you can't believe you gained 20 pounds since you were married, how frustrated you were that you can't lose weight, and started referring yourself as a fat girlfriend/wife.

Ladies, what do you expect the men supposed to say? There was no way he was going to let you know that your weight bothered him. He will respond to the way he suppose to--with an answer that reassured you that superficial judgments had no place in the relationship.

Trust me ladies, men do care.

Don't believe it when a man says he doesn't care about looks...bull! Some men are trying to be nice and don't want to hurt a woman's feeling, but men do put a high value on a sexy body.

Every guy notices a sexy body. They care about your body because better bodies simply get them more excited. Men get more physical pleasure, indirectly and directly, when your body is at its best.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Can Unconditional Love Exist in Romantic Relationships?

First of all, what is unconditional love?

Love that expects nothing back, places no limits, and does not set any ideals of condition on what or when it should be.

When you love someone without the expectation of how or if they will express love back to you.

This is the kind of love you see exhibited by parents and children and brothers and sisters.

But what about romantic relationships?

Yes, unconditional love has even existed in the best of romantic relationships.

How can you love someone unconditionally?

When you love someone unconditionally, you do not set limits or boundaries on that love, not circumstances that would cause you to withdraw it, there is nothing that would cause you to not love the person. Even if the other person intentionally wronged you, it is overlooked if you are truly committed to unconditional love.

Why is it important in any kind relationships?

When this kind of love is present, both partners feel more secure and neither of them seeks control. You do not try to control the actions of the other person, nor do you tell them you will not love them if they act a certain way or do a certain thing. Since there are no boundaries or conditions the people in a relationship of unconditional love do not have to worry about the other person leaving or not loving them over a particular situation or behavior.

If you love someone unconditionally you will want whatever is best for them and you will always give them the freedom to seek out the things that really give them happiness. Although they may make bad choices and do things that will wrong you, you will always be there for them and never judge them if you truly love them unconditionally.

When you truly love someone unconditionally, you place their needs and their happiness above everything else, including yourself.

Remember, just because you love someone in this way it does not mean that they will return their love to you in the same way.

To confirmed my answer from the question I placed...

The answer is yes. It does exist.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Is there something wrong with a little nagging?


I know that I nag my husband a little bit. He says I nag him about everything. I don't mean to be mean. But I always hear guys say they can't stand the "nagging" from their wives or girlfriends. Do you guys really have such thin skin?

Hello Carrottop79,

Cute name by the way :)

Okay, there is a really good analogy I can use for your circumstance which will help you see the picture clearer:

There are two ways you can break a rock: 1) You slam it to the ground and watch it crumble into pieces. Or you 2)chip and chip, and chip, and chip away until there's nothing left. They both get the same result.

Nagging doesn't get result. My advice to you is that you need to approach him with respect. He won't take charge unless you reward him for listening to you. It worked on little kids right?

Things to note here ladies: when men are backed into a corner, they fight back ruthlessly or retreat silently. I'm fairly sure you prefered neither.

Why Do Guys Act Like Jerks When They Know They Are Wrong?

- Marianne

A while back, my husband and I had a big fight about whose family we were going to spend Christmas with. He ended up calling my mother a controlling witch and we end up not talking for days. So instead of just apologizing to me, he wrote me an e-mail saying he was really sorry, but then went on explaining what he really meant. It was nice he apologized, but it was pretty cowardly that he did it over e-mail, don't you think? I think he should have the guts to apologize to my face.


I agree with you that your husband has fault in this situation. He shouldn't call his mother-in-law a controlling witch. And I do agree also that discussing the problem face to face is a much better approach to the solution.

Before you jump into calling your husband a coward, let's talk about the good things that had happened here.

One, he apologized. Let it be on record that men have a hard time admitting that they are wrong. Some men are just so stubborn.

Two, he took the time to write out exactly how he felt. If you were mad, maybe he felt like he couldn't say what he wanted to say without feeling like his opinions will be ignored. The email isn't necessarily was just a way to dismiss a conflict and end the discussion. Maybe it was just his way of calming both of you down.

Here is some key note to remember as well: Silence doesn't necessarily equal insincerity. It's better for a man to show that he cares through his actions, not his words. Writing the email to you = action = he cares. I think you should go give your husband a really big hug and tell him that you love him.

Have a great Wednesday everyone!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Cha & Cafe

Newly opened Cha & Café in El Monte, CA has much to offer. We were greeted with friendly faces upon arriving and leaving the restaurant. The waitresses there dress as French maids whom I thought were very appealing. The services at Cha & Cafe were superb, our waitress being attentive but not overbearing. The atmosphere is comfortable and classy, yet the café has room for many people and is nicely decorated. Some of the great perks about the café is the free wi-fi, electronic games machines, sport channels and karaoke/ VIP room.

The restaurant carried brand new menu that features a mix of traditional Vietnamese and French cuisine with variety selection of smoothies and special drinks. You can tell they put a lot of thought into the menu.

The Starter: The Fried Egg Rolls

I definitely enjoyed the egg rolls tremendously. The platter was decorated very nicely with lettuce and variety of mints on the side. It was also served with a side of their homemade fish sauce. The eggrolls were hot, delicious and very crunchy. You can definitely tell the ingredients are fresh.

The Soups: Chicken Curry

This is definitely my all time favorite. You can't go wrong when it comes to this dish, especially for the curry and coconut fans. The chicken meats are very juicy and tender. The soup's taste balance very well with the coconut and curry. Neither of the main flavors over-powers each other. French bread is served on the side with the soup.

The Signature Dish: Filet Mignon Cubes w/ Salad, Egg w/ French bread)

This is the café's famous signature dish. The cube steak was very tender and juicy. You can tell they use very high grade steak for this dish. The salad was amazingly fresh and the vingerette was perfect in amount that it doesn't overkill the taste of the steak. They serve it along with two fried eggs and French bread.

Overall, this place is a gem. They have great service and good food. That's all you need to have an awesome time!

10308 Lower Azusa Road
El Monte, CA, 91731
Mon - Sun:
11:00 am - 12:00 am

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Is predicability will kill the relationship?

Predictability is not a total bad thing. For men, especially in a long-term relationship, need a balance of predictability and surprises.

Why predictability is good. Because predictability = stability.

Men wants the stability of a woman who is strong, predictable, who's a good mother, who's passionate about what she loves, who's smart, who's a stable influence for the relationship and their future kids.

So why is a routine so crucial? Because a woman with no predictability is a woman who has no responsibility. Men want women who can pay the bill on time, who is committed to her career or her family, who is stable enough to stabilize the relationship.

Men want the appropriate ratio of predictability and surprises...they want the same goes for the bedroom activity. But I can't teach you there lol!