Saturday, June 26, 2010

Was the Sex Really Worth it to Him to Ruin Everything We Had?

" My husband of 5 years just admitted to me that he had an affair. He said he slept with a woman he met through a mutual friend at work. He said he only slept with her only three times and then they broke it off. Yeah, "only" three times, like I should be thankful or something. To tell you the truth, I don't even know what I'm going to do, if I'm going to stay with him or not. But what I keep asking myself, is the sex really that much better than it's worth a divorce, splitting up money, lawyers, messing with kids' lives, and all that?" Anonymous

To Anonymous:

I know you must be upset. And I feel your pain, love. we have to asked ourselves nowadays, where did the chivalry and fidelity went?

But first let's analyze the good from this situation. We can safely assume that you're husband is mortify for what he has done and is awfully sorry because he came clean with the affair. Kudos to him for that. He can be like other jerks, cannot care less and keep it to himself because he know he can get away with him. But for your husband to confess the affair, that's one hard cookie to bite on.

But back to reality, cheating is excuse for it. While sex might not be the first stepping stone to ignites infidelities, it can certainly be a powerful accelerator. Us women sometimes pretty much underestimate the power of a man's orgasm. Women have to understand men don't reminisce about the last one they had. They're always going to on heel thinking about the next one. If a man needs more sex than he is getting from his partner, then his natural reaction therefore is to find ways to fill his tank. Majority will try to fill it more often by themselves...but then men craves for the physical and emotional. Then if he is not completely satisfy with either, his radar will goes off to somewhere else. So women, don't totally blows off your men's needs.

But men, knows that cheating is wrong. Knows that it will hurt your girlfriend/wife. Can't you agree that sex is much better with your girlfriend/wife? Know that the sex isn't worth the mess..but then again maybe for some guys, the excitement, the sweat, the urgency, and the attentions are...and ladies, avoid those kind of guys.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

What Women Want Men To Know About Women

“We don’t want to be fixed. You guys are making us feel like we are broken or defective. We just wanted to be heard and form a close relationship.”

“Men complains about we are not completely open up to them. Want us to open up? We need a feeling of security and better chances of survival.”

“The dating stage is very important. It really tells us how you going to treat us in the long run. The man should demonstrate being attentive, protective, stimulating, calming and caring. If we don’t feel important now, we won’t feel important when we give you us completely.”

“Men are always figuring ways to get into our pant. Want some tips? Establish a long term protective and supportive relationship with us. If you have us, you have our heart.”

“We want to feel that we are important and valuable to men. Show your interest and dedication to our well-being and our high value to you. So it will be nice to be asked how are we doing and if we need anything…and really mean it! Men who do accomplish this are more attractive to us.”

“Men bitch about how they are clueless about women. Stop bitching and do something about it.”

“Stop labeling us all the same. We are all different. Just because you ex-girlfriend is a total psycho…it doesn’t make us one too.”

“Say what you mean…mean what you say!”

“We know you guys are busy. But a phone call isn’t too much to ask, right?”

“Make us feel like we are the hottest woman in this world even though we are not.”

“Compliment us…guys need reinforcement; we do too.”

“We want an intelligent lover. Someone who is able to read body language and the small signals that we are sending out.”

“Men can’t have a cake and eat it too!”

“Women want to feel safe with a man. They want to know that everything's gonna be all right. This doesn't mean you have to be huge and strong, or have millions in the bank. It just means you have to talk reassuringly to her, look after her safety, and assure her when she needs it that things are going to be OK.”

“We want men to take us out on "real" dates. We want to be asked a few days ahead of time. We want the evening planned with activities we'd enjoy. Taking us to a hockey game because you love hockey is not a "real" date in our mind. We want to be picked up by a date that has taken care with his appearance. We like that you primp for us as we do for you. We want doors opened for us. We want you to pay for dinner. We'll offer to pay. Don't jump on the offer before the words have finished coming out of our mouths. However, if we insist - offer to split costs. If we ask you out, we expect and plan to pay. Of course we also expect you to try to pick up the check. We may not let you. Think of it as a test.”

“We are turned on by men that pay attention to detail. We tend to remember what we wore on every date, where we went, what we ate and what songs were playing on the radio on the way. Relax - we don't require you to remember all of that. But you should remember places we've been together.”

“We want men who can make a decision. We hate guys that never decide on a place to eat or a movie to see. Saying "Whatever you want, honey" is fine in most situations. Recommended even. But not every time we ask what you want to do. We just like men in charge”

“We want men that are honest and dependable. We want to be able to count on you. Don’t make plans to go out with us if you know you’re going to cancel. Don’t tell us what you think we want to hear instead of the truth. Yes - me may get angry at some things that you say or do. Yes, our feelings may be hurt that you had already made plans with the guys on Saturday night instead of leaving it open for us. But as hurt as we are then, is nothing compared to the fury we’ll feel when Saturday night rolls around and we find out at the last minute. Don’t string us along. Along with dependability is courtesy. If you’re running late - call and let us know, realistically, how late you’ll be. Don’t say you’ll be there in 5 minutes when you know it will be more like an hour. This is not so that we can “check up” on you. We’re not making you accountable for every minute not spent with us. We are natural worriers. It’s just the polite thing to do.”

“Sex doesn't have to be a marathon affair. We get sore after a while and while you are trying to hold back from coming, we are wishing you would just climax already. Listen to what our bodies are saying and go with it. We don't have the stop watch out.”

“That we need to feel secure. Men sometimes misunderstand a woman's need to be secure. They see it as a trap into marriage or a long term commitment. While women want to feel secure about the future, men usually don't think it necessary to prove that they can provide it.”

“We want to be appreciated. There is nobody on earth that does not want to be appreciated. We are suckers for compliments. Too many men have lost the love of a good woman because they have taken her for granted. We love a man who knows how to treat us right and show us how much he cares.”

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

What Men Want Women to Know About Men

By request by one of my reader, I was asked to compile a list of "what men
want women to know to about men". I surveyed around and here are the results ladies!

"We don't like it when women are controlling." -Steve

"We scratches because it itches" -Jon

"We never get hints" -Charles

"We men like for the women to understand our priorities in life too. We want to cater to your needs, but can't you understand our needs also?
" -Tommy

"Just because we don't show emotion doesn't mean we don't care (actions will dictate that)"
-Clint Clirk

"Men can suck really badly at picking up subtle things." -Clint

"As a subset of two, if you like a guy, or don't like a guy (in THAT way) just say so! It saves everyone a lot of time and potential emotional hurt" -Clint

"If you get with a bad guy, and you pretty much know he's a bad guy, and you go with him anyways, and you get burned, don't come running back crying to our shoulders. That annoys us a lot more than you think." -Clint

"And the true is the same for women, we are who we are. You can't change us any more than we can change you. If we are bad, than we are bad guys. If we are good, than we are good guys. Thinking you can change us is nothing more than a justification in your head to be with us one way or another. Don't fool yourselves." -Clint

"Most men like sports, deal with it." -Clint

"We hate the ladder system. We REALLY hate the ladder system." -Clint

"Plain and simple. We're scared of rejection, no matter how much we pretend we're not." -Brad

"Sometimes, we want to be chased. The sexiest thing in the world is a girl hitting on us."

"Women don't understand the value of solitude. If I want to go out and drink with my buddies, she should understand that's it's healthy." -Johnatan

"Men may not always want to talk about their feelings, but that doesn't mean that they aren't invested in the relationship." -Stan

"I love a woman who is very sensual. A woman unafraid of telling me what she's thinking is a girl for me." -Jerry

"We are no different than women in what we want. We are looking for that one person who will make us and keep us happy for the long run. We're looking for women who will be the same person while they're married as they are when they're dating."

"A woman who picks up the tab once in a while is hot. I do mind women paying because I'm a provider. A real man pays for everything. But when a woman offer to pay, now that is sexy all around. " - Luke

Let's keep the list going men. Your opinion will help change the lives of all men around the globe :)

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Dating Without Wanting Commitment?


I've been seeing this guy for a couple weeks. He's cool, we enjoyed each other, have a lot in common, and have slept together a couple times. So we're on something like our sixth date, and he lays it all on me.--that he's coming off a tough breakup, that he's not sure he's ready to go on, that I'm great but his head is in a messed-upp place. I wasn't going to argue with the guy, but I'm tired of the B.S. Why does he use his head as an excuse for not wanting to continue a relationship with me?

Wow, that's must be tough on your part. To be involved emotionally and physically...then the string was cut.

Okay, let's put it this way. Let's say he's gone to this great new restaurant. It's hip, cool, getting lots of good attention. First time there, he tries something, likes it, goes back again, and isn't quite as impressed. So he tries something else on the menu, and then something else, and then he realizes that hey, maybe it isn't the food. Maybe the restaurant just isn't for him.

He's lying. Really, if he wanted a future with you or if you jazzed his soul more than Coltrane, then it wouldn't matter what happened with past girlfriends, careers, or anything else. They'd drop all of their excuses and do anything to make it work.

The reason why he's using his head as an excuse--and not the fact that he's not finding you to be a match--he thinks you're cool, smart, and attractive, but maybe just not serving the right dishes for his taste. It's doesn't mean other people won't enjoy the place, and it doesn't mean it not worthy of being open. It just mean you shouldn't worry aout trying to keep him as a regular.

How Do I Get Him to Input More in the Relationship?


Things haven't been going that great with my boyfriend. I told him how I felt--how I wanted more from our relationship, how I didn't feel like he cared as much as he used to, how it seemed like we were in kind of a rut. His response? He clammed up. He made some remark about how he was sorry that I felt that way and then came back with the classic: "What do you want me to do?" I hate that. It's like he was trying to pass the responsibility back to me. What's he trying to prove whenever we have relationship troubles?

Before you jump into conclusion...STOP. To you, it may sound like a blow-off. But to men, that question sums up every single emotion they have running in their head when you present to him your problem. He is asking you to tell him what to do or how to fix it. Importantly, how can he make you happy.

Men doesn't see life as a math problem. Every single path comes up with a different answer. They think differently than us. They wants to meet your needs and get to the bottom of what's bothering you. They just drive there differently.

Women, please note: Men like to solve problems, so they will feel bad when he can't fix things for you.

Women are wired to give sympathy when people shared their problems with us and maybe that why we expect it too. For men? They are wired to analyze the problem, take care of it, and move on.