Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Why Do Guys Act Like Jerks When They Know They Are Wrong?

- Marianne

A while back, my husband and I had a big fight about whose family we were going to spend Christmas with. He ended up calling my mother a controlling witch and we end up not talking for days. So instead of just apologizing to me, he wrote me an e-mail saying he was really sorry, but then went on explaining what he really meant. It was nice he apologized, but it was pretty cowardly that he did it over e-mail, don't you think? I think he should have the guts to apologize to my face.


I agree with you that your husband has fault in this situation. He shouldn't call his mother-in-law a controlling witch. And I do agree also that discussing the problem face to face is a much better approach to the solution.

Before you jump into calling your husband a coward, let's talk about the good things that had happened here.

One, he apologized. Let it be on record that men have a hard time admitting that they are wrong. Some men are just so stubborn.

Two, he took the time to write out exactly how he felt. If you were mad, maybe he felt like he couldn't say what he wanted to say without feeling like his opinions will be ignored. The email isn't necessarily was just a way to dismiss a conflict and end the discussion. Maybe it was just his way of calming both of you down.

Here is some key note to remember as well: Silence doesn't necessarily equal insincerity. It's better for a man to show that he cares through his actions, not his words. Writing the email to you = action = he cares. I think you should go give your husband a really big hug and tell him that you love him.

Have a great Wednesday everyone!


  1. Men don't like admitting that they're wrong or at fault. Then again, women don't either. I think that's why there's so much arguing going on in relationships.

    Simply doing nothing and letting the situation handle itself is the wrong way to go about it. At least the guy took the time to write how he felt.

    Great advice!

  2. 2 trains coming towards each other on the same track...

    Just be happy he de-railed first.

    Maybe he had to type the e-mail because you are just as controlling as your mom.

    Remember, women base their argument on emotion when we are trying to base it on reason. If he was to talk it out, he probably wouldn't have had an opportunity to have his opinion understood.

    If anything, doesn't sound cowardly... Sounds like the smartest man on the EARTH. He has what he said on record, and he just let you have his opinion without setting off another argument.

    Brilliant chess move. He apologized... just take it and move on.

  3. Sounds like he may have been afraid he would not be heard so he figured he'd avoid further confrontation by writing. Sounds like maybe you need to be gentler with him so he'll feel more comfortable talking face to face.

    Writing was a wise choice. Applaud him for his care.