Saturday, August 6, 2011

How Can I Show Him I'm Interested Without Scaring Him Off?

I've gone on several dates with the guy I've been seeing. We hit it off very well. I am anxious now because I am very interested in him. What is the best way to tell or show a guy how much I am into him without him freaking out and thinking that I want to marry him tomorrow? Any suggestions? --Marilyn

Hi Marilyn,

Thank you for your patience on this response! I know I am 8 months overdue to your answer.

Let's cut to the chase. In all seriousness, dating is a chase. Guys want dating to be like a maze. They play mouse, we play cheese. You need to make the dating game more exciting for them. Let them smell the cheese. Do they want the cheese? Oh yeah. Do they know exactly how they are going to get the cheese? Absolutely not.

The #1 rule of the game is to keep you in the game.
Do not place the cheese right in front of them. Let them look, think, feel, and figure it out all. It will just make you just as interesting for him. Fact is, when they're courting, approaching, stalking, or just trying to get to know you, they got more butterflies than the butterflies laboratory (Haha, I know that's corny). They like the fact there are few things that make them nervous when winning you. Trust me, that makes the cheese a whole lot tastier in the end.

Please don't confuse my advice as saying to play games, deceive them, lure them in, then close the door on them.

So how to show him you're interested without scaring him off? Just be sexy...not whorish. Men are all for women being aggressive. But they just have to know where to stop. Touch him, brush against him, and do stuff like that early on is much more long-term material than the woman who will give it up in bed and jamming her tongue down a guy's throat after an hour in the date (hmm* cough* skank*). The key is to be interesting and irresistible, not desperate.

Here is a nice trick to see if you guy is into you for the long term. Suggest that you are planning a vacation 2 months from now and want to know if your guy is want to join you. If he jumps at it, he wants you for the long-term. Don't jump the gun if he hesitate to answer you. Watch him carefully and dissect his reason why he is not interested.

This trick is the perfect way to imply you wanted some kind of future in the relationship without ever having to say the very annoying, "Are we boyfriend and girlfriend?"

Much love and happiness,
Maria